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Suffering is Optional

I’m a coach, whose job is to bring the tools, skills, and concepts to others so they can address issues, eliminate unwanted patterns, and generally transform their lives. As such it can be very difficult to admit to unwanted patterns and painful circumstances in my own life. The term ‘physician heal thyself’ comes to mind. I’ll admit that I sometimes have the “who am I to teach others” kind of feelings.


I value authenticity and transparency so I would never pretend that there aren’t bumps in the road (and sometimes huge boulders) that appear to be obstacles to my peace and joy. But my superpower is I know that ultimately all is well, there is always a way forward, and I need only stay present and awake as life unfolds. I have tools at my disposal to help when the going gets tough and I can’t get out of my own head. These tools, like EFT (tapping) and meditation, help to break the emotional grip of the situation and help me to relax and allow the universe to guide me, rather than spin my wheels trying to control the uncontrollable.


I’m a fan of Adyashanti and listen to his teachings often. One of the principles he discusses is pain as part of the human condition. A concept that I’m embracing (if not 100% consistently) is that although pain, both emotional and physical, is often a fact of our human existence, suffering is completely optional. This idea can be difficult to accept, and even if accepted intellectually, can be difficult to embody in our daily life. Although we can theoretically just decide to drop our stories (and therefore our worries and angst) in an instant, the capacity to do so mostly eludes us. We have been so thoroughly conditioned to respond, react, worry, fret, and try to wrench control of the situation that we truly have no idea how to just let go and be present with what is.


Arguing with what is, or what was, however traumatic or unfair, can only lead to pain. Acceptance, which really means letting go of our stories and interpretations of what it all means, is the only way to peace. Acceptance of exactly where we are gives us the space to listen to our inner knowing, in order to be divinely led along the path that best serves us.


EFT is an effective tool that can release us from our stories that often developed over a lifetime of repeating and reinforcing old hurts, traumas, and patterns. Most of us laid the foundation for our current stories and beliefs through experiences we had before we were old enough to have any discernment. If you are repeating the same painful patterns in your finances, relationships, or other life circumstances, I can help you break free so that you can more easily and peacefully open to new possibilities.



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